Bloated writing is like weight gain: Sneaky. Like waking up after a month of sundaes and wondering where those extra 10 pounds came from, pride turns into morning-after regret when you read your redundancy-filled paragraph.

It’s Time for a Little Discipline

Scrutinize modifiers. Do they add anything but weight? Empty words like “very,” “really” and “extremely” rarely do. What’s the difference between “pretty” and “very pretty”? Not much.

When you come to a comma, stop. If it’s connecting two clauses, could they be made into stand-alone sentences? If not, be sure you have a good reason for making your reader go so long without reaching the end.

Shrink long phrases. Why say something like “in a holistic fashion” when “holistically” does the job of four words single-handedly?

Use editing software. Grammarly has made some valuable saves for me, spotting wordiness and monotonous structure. I don’t always agree, but it's a helpful backup.

Walk away. After finishing, take a break for an hour or even overnight. Come back and check for wordiness and redundancy. Ask yourself if all those words work. If they don’t, start deleting.

Now – About Your Opener

This is where concise copy is critical. Long, tedious sentences (I know you love them, but be honest) are no way to get your reader to stay with you for the whole story.

Try these ideas for opening with impact:

Think visually. Imagine someone reading you on the phone, which is how many people now consume content. What seems short on your desktop can become a gray blob – a wall of words.

Keep it to 40 or 50 words, max. That’s plenty of room to say what you want.

Keep it intriguing. If you start with a story, don’t tell the whole tale. Start with the most essential point, deliver the message it illustrates and fill in the details later.

The Bottom Line

As always, put yourself in your reader’s place. Does it make you want to keep reading? If it doesn’t hold your attention, why in the wide, wide world of words would someone else stay with it?